Six steps to get to know someone

We all meet new people in our lives and we all want to know their real personalities and attitude.

Whether it is a new romance, a friendship, or a business relationship, it is always advised for you to know how you connect with them. While asking some questions is a good start in knowing someone, there are also some steps that you can do to create a new kind of relationship.

So aside from small talks, these are the tips that you can follow to get to know someone on a deeper level, according to Mantelligence and healthline:

1. Ask getting to know you questions
This is the first step in getting to know someone, and it is very important to make sure that you are asking questions that you are really interested in.

Consider how you would feel if someone asked a lot of boring questions. You may start asking him or her these questions:

• What's your all-time favorite movie?
• What do you think the absolute coolest hobby out there is?
• Past or present, who's your favorite athlete?
• Where do you want to travel next?
• What activity/hobby makes you the happiest?
Always take note that you don't need to ask everything that comes to your mind. Some people reveal information about themselves over time.

2. Accept the awkwardness
It is normal to experience awkwardness when you meet someone for the first time.

"It is usually takes about a month for conversation patterns to settle into a comfortable rhythm. Three to four months may be required for close friendships to develop (Saramaki et al., 2014; van Duijn et al., 2003)," according to a study.

Licensed Mental Health Counselor Katherine Parker said that if you are having awkward moments in speaking with new people, then you may try practicing with a trusted friend.

3. Listen to their answers
Active listening means you participate in the conversation even when you're not speaking. You may practice this by; making eye contact, turning or leaning toward the person speaking, waiting to speak until they finish, etc.

4. Talk about yourself too
After asking several questions, this time you may share things about yourself too. This may not be an issue if the other person is good at firing questions back at you. If not, you may need to talk about yourself a bit.

You will see if someone is also interested in you if he or she also asks questions. Try not to get too personal that you make the other person uncomfortable, but don't be afraid to push the limits a little bit.

5. Avoid giving advice
Imagine receiving a piece of advice from someone you just met, you find it weird, right?

So don't offer advice to someone who is new to you even if he or she shared the problems they are dealing with. What you can do is to say "That sounds really tough. If you need anything, let me know. I'm happy to help out if I can."

6. Find mutual interest
After having several conversations with a new friend or workmate, you may know have some sort of a connection going. You've probably laughed, opened up a bit, and discovered new things about each other.

This time you may need to find some common ground. For example, you both love a certain movie or series, and then you may start another talk about it by asking "Why did you feel that way about that character?" or "What can you say about the latest episode?"

Identifying and discussing mutual interests lets you get deeper without being too direct.

Remember that a relationship grows stronger in time especially if you both make an effort to spend time with each other. Of course, simply spending time with someone doesn't mean you'll form a long-lasting friendship, but your chances for friendship tend to increase when you spend more time with someone. (KBAPI)